My friend Brian Burt, 41, is seriously working on manifesting his soulmate and he is inviting all of us to help him reach “the One.” Brian recently posted his very detailed open letter (see below) on Face Book. Not only do I applaud Brian’s creativity and vulnerability, I am thinking that maybe someone reading this newsletter will recognize that she just might be his soulmate. Can’t wait to see where this goes!

Brian’s Partner Manifestation Letter

Dear World,

I’m writing with all the clarity and passion I can to bring about the relationship I desire and am making space for.

This is part of my growth in openness, in revealing who I am. It’s also rooted in the belief that declared clarity can be an important step towards living one’s deepest purpose.

At present, I am a man with a tremendous community, a rich life, and a history of loving and supportive intimate relationships– with many learning opportunities amongst. In the past year, I’m noticing some major shifts in my relationship with solitude (much more peaceful), in my dance with uncomfortable emotions, and in the clarity I feel about relationship.

Indeed, I am totally clear about the relationship I am making space for, and am ready for.

Looking forward, and to that purpose, I am declaring my vision:

* I am in a relationship with a woman who exudes calm, happiness and depth. She is clear in her yes’s and her no’s, communicating her truth with firmness and ease. Her body energy is particularly “chill” and she smiles easily.

[Friends: this first one may be worth re-reading, as it is the one that makes the clearest distinction compared to some characteristics below which describe the shared "social cloth" that my friends and I are (mostly) part of. Likewise, it's more uniquely personal than some of the less-surprising items below (who doesn't want a great sex life?) -B]

* We are each spiritual “seekers”, who value community, personal growth, and giving of ourselves for a better world. We get along well with academics, with ravers, with far-out hippies and buttoned-up corporate types. (I have lifelong aspects of each and have good friends who are wholly in each of those camps.)

*We each see life as something to be created, and an adventure to be lived, and a gift to be given and received. We value health, and nurture our bodies and souls with exercise, sleep, nutritious food, and a healthy sex life.

* We value experiences more than material possessions. We are responsible with money and our use of money reflects our deeper values. We can live simply, even when we have the means to have luxury. And, at times we choose luxury, with joy and gratitude.

* We will raise children together. We will continue to enjoy our community and our individual interests while doing so. I provide materially for the family, and she contributes as well.

* We are both known for brilliant minds and compassionate hearts, and as nuanced communicators. We enjoy cuddling, yoga, reading or engaging (with little or no TV), and love to dance and enjoy the arts. We laugh together frequently. We find ways to play. We enjoy the outdoors.

* We are mutually supportive of each other’s life goals. I have a very successful business, and appreciate a grounded nurturing energy at home. I envision she’ll be up to something she cares about with her work as well.

* We began dating in the East Bay, although she may have lived in SF, Marin, or otherwise nearby. If we leave the bay area, it will be for fantastic adventures, or perhaps someplace with community and more nature.

* She might be short or tall, thin or curvy, or of any hair or eye color. While it feels vulnerable to say so, I’m certain she’s very beautiful, and appears as young or younger than I do (or at least, as I flatter myself that I do I’m a “face man” and especially dig puffy, sensual lips, and smooth skin. I’m imagining (but not certain) that she was born between 1970 and 1982. (I in ‘67.)

* She is open, sensual, and open to exploration in bed (or out of bed . We have an electric, soul-quenching sex-life. Our chemistries are complimentary (I’d say I’m a medium-core dominant, exploratory, and relatively non-jealous).

* We identify neither as polyamorous, nor as a ideologically-monogomous. It is about what works and what’s a Yes rather than building in “No”s. The relationship comes first. I envision that particularly deep romantic/sexual bonds would only happen within our relationship.

* We love to sit around a meal table with a group of friends. We travel, we go to Harbin, we camp, we fall in love, we dance, we raise a family, and we die with a legacy of love.

Universe, hear me. I am happy, and grateful, and full, and rich in many ways, and I also have space for this. I am creating space for this. I can feel this relationship in my bones.

And you, my dear, if you are reading this, come hither. I promise to be present and courageous and passionate and truthful, always.

And you, who is simply curious about me, say hi, and let’s start with tea.

And you, friends, if you have someone in mind, I welcome a call, or an email introduction.

Thanks for reading,

Brian

Do you think you might be a match for Brian? Email him at email@brian-burt.com

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In his book, Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer, Gregg Braden shares one of my favorite stories about accompanying a tribal shaman on a rain dance. He expected a big production of music, costumes and dance. However, he was quite surprised by what he saw.

The Shaman walked alone to an area marked with stones. He quietly walked around the perimeter for a moment, stopped and closed his eyes in a quiet, meditative state. After a short time in silence the Shaman said he was finished and he was ready to go to lunch with Gregg.

Gregg was surprised at the brevity of the ritual and said to the Shaman “I thought you were going to pray for rain”. The Shaman said “Not pray FOR rain, but PRAY RAIN”. He explained that he “prayed rain” by imagining and feeling the rain landing on his skin, sensing the moisture as it collected on the dirt beneath his feet, smelling the sweet and fresh fragrance, hearing the pitter patter of the drops as they fell, seeing the dewy wetness upon the foliage and watching it fall from the sky. He felt it. He saw it. He lived the experience with every minute detail all within his own mind and heart.
About an hour later, while Gregg and the Shaman were having lunch, the sky opened up and the much-needed rain fell to the ground.

I love this story because it so clearly demonstrates the importance of “acting as if.”  The Shaman felt the rain, gave thanks for the rain and then it rained.
In the chapter on “Living as If” in The Soulmate Secret, this is the same technique I discuss.  Feel what it feels like to be living your life with your soulmate.  Experience the love, the joy, and the fun you will have together. Then give thanks and gratitude to the Universe/God/Goddess/All that Is for delivering to you your perfect right partner.

If you need a little help getting into the right state of open-heartedness, please do this 5 minute  “Heartlight” feelingization.  You can download it here: www.soulmatesecret.com/audio

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Dear Arielle and Brian:

When you meet your soulmate, do you know it pretty much right away, and if things go wrong, is he then not your soulmate? How do you know, if things seem great and then fall apart?
I have a situation that is pretty unique, and i’m not sure what to make of it. I am getting mixed signals and even though i am in my 40’s, i don’t know how to navigate this. Does the path of true love always run smooth if the person is your soulmate. I don’t know whether to give up or wait it out.
Thanks,

Lynn

Dear Lynn,
Thank you so much for your very important question—you certainly are not alone with these thoughts and feelings regarding your loved one. I would lovingly suggest you navigate this from an open heart and trust the answers will be provided for you. Your concern and doubt might originate from your ego which naturally tries to protect you— So please enlist you’re amazing intuition to help you gain some clarity on these “mixed signals.” Your intuition is truly the best “tool” in your “toolbox” to expand your awareness, receive deeper insights and discern (from the heart) so as to hopefully grow the relationship, heal the relationship or at the least understand from a place of love and not resentment, despair or anger that the relationship isn’t serving the two of you. Lynn, lets give it a try—close your eyes and focus on your heart for a few minutes and actually “feel” love been showered upon you from your beloved, a pet, source, God whatever and whoever will give immediate “goosebumps” and then answer these questions. Are you inspired when your with your beloved? Do you feel healed? Do you feel safe and secure? Do you feel renewed? Are your fears dissolving? If your “feeling” good about what comes up for you then you’re truly on the right path to a healthy authentic sacred relationship. If things are clouded and you haven’t raised the expectation bar to high for your man then be honest with yourself and your beloved and take the steps to go your separate ways.
Lynn, all relationships (Soulmates included) are never smooth all the time but if you live from the heart I promise that you will feel filled up more often and the turbulence will be minimized. I think with the help of your intuition you’ll never have to ask yourself whether you have to “give up” on the relationship or “wait it out.” The answer will be clear and come from within—you’ll just want to “dive in” for more BIG LOVE!!!

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@yahoo.com

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Dear Arielle and Brian:
I have been divorced for nearly ten years from someone I really loved me but constantly cheated on me. I have been on a spiritual path for many years now, I have done affirmations and made vision boards but in spite of my best efforts to “get out there” and meet someone new nothing ever seems to happen. What do you suggest?
Thank you,

Evelyn

Brian and I went to see the movie LAST CHANCE HARVEY recently. What moved me most about this tender film (which tells the story of two people at mid-life discovering the possibility of love and happiness) was the moment towards the end of the film when Harvey (Dustin Hoffman) makes it very clear to Kate (played by Emma Thompson) that he wants to have a relationship with her. Kate, a middle-aged single woman, who has been hurt too many times in the past, says to Harvey:

“I’m not going to do it because it will hurt. Not right now, maybe, but soon – there will be a ‘it’s not quite working is it’ or a ‘I need some space’ or whatever it is and it’ll end and it’ll hurt and I won’t do it, I won’t and…I… I don’t want this… I think it’s actually easier for me to be disappointed.”

As I sat in the dark theater, waiting for Kate to snap out of her misery and say YES to this man who was taking a stand for her, I realized that Kate had just said out loud the thoughts so many singles have said to themselves. That love is just too hard and at some level accepting disappointment is EASIER than taking a risk for love.

Evelyn, right now you get to make a choice. You can choose to give up on love or you can decide that you deserve to find your soulmate and create the life of your dreams with him or her. If you think it’s too late consider this: I did it at age 44. My mother-in-law Peggy did it at age 80.

The first step is to make the choice to put your “intention” and “attention” on your love life. The next step is to become humble enough to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and to forgive those who have hurt you in the past. Having purified your heart of bitterness and regrets, you’ll have renewed clarity to create your soulmate wish list, your Treasure Map, and to set about doing all of the fun, energizing projects, prayers, rituals and feelingizations that are outlined in The Soulmate Secret. www.soulmatesecret.com

Come on, what are you waiting for? Start manifesting your soulmate today and add more love to the world.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@yahoo.com

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Dear Arielle and Brian:
Three years ago I met someone who I strongly believe in my heart is my soulmate. We are engaged and have lived together for the past three years. I discovered he cheated on me and I told him to leave the house. He has grovelled, begged for me to take him back and acknowledged that it was a terrible mistake.

My question is how can a soulmate cause so much pain? How can someone I love so dearly do this? Part of me wants him to come back, but the hurting part of me wants to let go. I have been honest with my thoughts and let him know where he stands. He asked me today what can he do to regain my trust and have me back?
Hope you can clear my mind a bit. Totally confused here.
Betsy

Thank you for sharing your feelings regarding your love relationship. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and heart vulnerability to ask the difficult questions and process these important issues. If we may, we would love to ask you a few more questions in hopes of you gaining more insight instead of assuming we have the answers.
You said that in your heart and intuitive guidance he is your soulmate, but do you feel a soulmate would cause you so much pain? Do you feel a soulmate would have to expend so much energy defending his or her actions? Do you feel like he has provided you a “soft place” to land? Has the relationship been healing and nurturing for you? Were you inspired by his devotion and unconditional love for you? Has he helped to remove your fears or support your aspirations?
These are important questions for you to answer from your heart. Your answers will help you determine if he has served you and your relationship at the “Soul” level. We have always honored and respected loving relationships that can work through these very difficult issues with integrity, forgiveness and the most important ingredient– trust.
Every one of us deserves a healthy and vibrant relationship with the one we love but you specifically asked us to reflect on your questions from a soulmate perspective. Hopefully our response will help you with your confusion We will be sending lots of love and prayers to you and your partner no matter what road you take for the two of you.
Betsy, just know you have most likely helped many people who are in a similar situation you currently find yourself in and maybe this can assist them in gaining some clarity and insight into their own loving relationship.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle & Brian

Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction and her husband Brian Hilliard, a business consultant, answer your questions about life, love and relationships. They believe that whether you are eighteen or eighty years old finding Big Love is always possible. Email your questions to: soulmatesecret@yahoo.com

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