Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

It was the Fall of 1991 and I remember looking into his big brown eyes and feeling my heart expand to the far reaches of the Universe. My body was tingling and I was filled with the yummiest sensations. My mind was filled with the thoughts such as “he must be my twin-soul,” “finally I’ve found my One,” “this is so amazing.” It was like the best possible drug and I was willing to become an addict.

The problem was that (a) I didn’t know a thing about him (b) I was completely delusional (c) he was ALREADY married (d) even though my body was saying YES there was a sane voice in the back of my head saying “hey, hello, hellloooooo, anyone home? Wake up!”

I spent a few weeks in this delirious state of stolen moments (he would fly into town for a few hours and fly home to be with his family), hours on the phone, fantasies that somehow all these feelings MUST mean this is meant to be, right? Wrong.

There was nothing right about this situation. (one obvious clue: I wasn’t talking about this with anyone, especially my closest friends)

I was compromising my values on so many levels.

Did I really want a guy who would behave this way? No.

Did I want to spend any part of my life being the other woman? No.

How long was I willing to be swept away with these dramatic feelings and make up all kinds of crazy stories that somehow we must be meant to be together?

Luckily not long at all.

In a moment of searing clarity I decided to tell him that we were through. We would not be friends. We would not stay in touch. He offered to leave his wife and move 500 miles to be near me but I just said no. I didn’t trust someone who was willing to throw away their life to be with someone that they truly didn’t know.

Were there moments when I thought “how can something that feels this good be so wrong?” YES and I let the thoughts and the feelings float by as I stayed anchored in my heart of hearts that chose to do the right thing.

Was it hard? Making the decision was the hardest part. Was it the right decision? Absolutely, one million percent.

This experience led me to get very clear about the type of man and the kind of relationship my heart truly desired. And as most of you know, that all came to fruition a few years later when I manifested Brian.

True love is never about compromising your values or morals. Learn to trust that at the right time and with the right circumstances love (not just hormonal frenzy) will be yours.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

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Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

I’ve recently received a few emails from men and women who are frustrated because they feel they have been actively “searching” for their soulmate without success. I would like to address this issue since it seems to be a big one for many people and I know that a small shift in perspective can make all the difference.

My suggestion is to focus more on “magnetizing” your soulmate to you rather than actively “looking out there” for that person.

Words and feelings are important. “Searching” can sometimes come from a place of desperation instead of the natural flow of love. Remember, that ultimately there is nothing for you to do but there is something and someone for you to BECOME.

Become the loving, giving magnet for love that you are at your core.
Discover true happiness within you and the life you have right now.
Give love to those already in your life.
Practice surrendering to the Universe and to all THAT IS.
When the time is right and you are ripe, love will find you.

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

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Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

One of the questions I am asked most often is from working moms who want to know “how will I ever meet someone when I am so busy with my kids, work, carpool, etc?” The first thing I always share with them is this true story of how my friend Peggy McColl, at age 46, manifested her soulmate:

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After my divorce, I was a stay-at-home mom running an Internet business, working in a home office with very little face-to-face contact with people. I lived in a residential neighborhood filled with families and, to my knowledge, not a single unattached man. Although I believed my soulmate was out there somewhere, it was hard not to notice the years ticking by as I waited for him to arrive. I also wondered how in the world he was going to find me, given that I worked from home and spent most of my days in semi-isolation.

Gradually, I let go of my need to know where or how he was going to come into my life, and one day early in January, I simply decided the following: My soulmate and I are going to meet easily, effortlessly, and perfectly. This, in fact, became my daily mantra, and I developed an unwavering emotion of faith. One day shortly thereafter, I went for a walk with my dog, Noelle. After catching sight of another dog on the front lawn of a neighbor’s house, Noelle bolted over to say “hello” to this new dog in the neighborhood. The moment the dog’s owner walked out of the house, I thought, Hmmm . . . he’s handsome! We started chatting, and in the middle of our conversation I found myself having another thought: This is the kind of guy that I would like to be with. He seemed gentle, kind, and caring, and he obviously liked dogs. Plus, he was handsome and masculine looking. From that point on, I stayed open to the way that Mr. Right would show up in my life, resisting the urge to “make something happen” and having faith in the Universe, its timing, and its wisdom.

Then, one snowy winter morning, my doorbell rang, and there was my new neighbor asking me to take care of his dog because his doggy babysitter wasn’t available and he was called into work (he was a pilot on call). After he returned from work, I invited him in for coffee, and the rest, as they say, is history.

We fell in love and within a short period of time were an item. Two and a half years later we married. I just love this story. It’s a great reminder that, it’s not your job to know how or where or when you will your soulmate, but it is your job to tell the Universe exactly what you desire and then trust that it is already on the way to you.

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Take time each day to feel what it feels like to be living your life with your soulmate. Experience the love, the joy, and the fun you will have together. Then give thanks and gratitude to the Universe/God/Goddess/All that Is, for delivering to you your perfect right partner.

If you need a little help getting into the right state of open-heartedness, please do this 5-minute “Heartlight” feelingization. You can download it for free at: www.soulmatesecret.com

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle

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Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

When we open to our most vulnerable feelings, needs and the desire to share our life with another (a most human desire), we may feel scared, intimidated, or maybe even hopeless. This is why I believe it’s really useful to find the perfect buddy to walk this path with you. We all want to feel supported, nurtured and understood and this is precisely the value of a buddy.

Your buddy may be someone who is also in the process of manifesting a soulmate or it can be someone who is looking for support in another area of their life. It can be a man or a woman, a close friend or someone relatively new to your life. The most important thing is that it’s someone you trust, feel safe with, and someone who can hold the vision of BIG LOVE for you, especially on the days when your faith may waver.

If the perfect buddy doesn’t immediately come to mind, ask yourself these questions:

-Who do I know that really wants to see me happy and in love?

-Does this person have my best interests at heart?

-Do I trust them?

-Would they take the time to work through the steps in The Soulmate Secret with me? (remember those steps work for manifesting more than just a soulmate)

If you still can’t figure out a great buddy, then ask that one be sent to you. Each day say a simple prayer of gratitude:

Dear God, Goddess and All that Is,
I give thanks that my perfect buddy has arrived in my life and is supporting my dreams with me.
And so it is.

I can’t imagine my life without my buddy, Peggy. Three mornings each weekwe get on the phone and share our hopes, dreams, wishes and projects for the week. We support each other and when necessary, hold each other accountable to accomplish what we say we are planning to do.

Today, give yourself the gift of a buddy.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

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Dear Soulmate Manifesters,

My friend Bob Grant, has been a therapist and relationship coach for the past 17 years. Recently we were talking about the misconception by so many women (and some men) that they have to be “perfect” before they can attract a mate. Bob has a LOT to say about this and I thought I would share it with you:

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You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Attract a Man…

Perfect Is Overrated…I promise. Men don’t need a woman to be flawless to be attracted to her.

After years of listening to women in my private practice, many women seem to think that men expect nothing less than perfection. If you were to visit some popular men’s websites such as; (www.askmen.com) or (www.maximum.com) you would certainly think that unless a woman is both highly attractive and incredibly accommodating, that men have no interest. This is not really accurate. At least not in the way you might think.

I often illustrate this to women by asking this question:

“If you had a choice between two men and everything about them was exactly the same, with the exception of one being worth millions and one being poor, who would you prefer? Would you select the wealthy one, or the one who was poor?”

Answer: If they were equal in all other aspects, most women state that they would choose the wealthy gentleman. I mean, why not if everything else is equal?

Now when men hear this some are likely to say, “That’s right, all a woman cares about is a guy who makes a lot of money.” In fact, that conclusion would be incorrect. A man would be wrong to assume that just because a woman likes the characteristic of a man with money that she cannot love a man unless he is wealthy. In fact, most women I speak with tell me this, “It isn’t that he has to make a certain amount, but I would like to know that he has the potential to make enough for me to feel comfortable.” In fact, most women are willing and/or expect to help out financially.

This same standard applies to men. If given the choice between a woman whom they believe is very attractive, or one who appears to take no interest in her appearance, they will choose the attractive one. This doesn’t mean that they will only consider a woman who is striking. Take a look at most married men and you will see that plenty of women who would not be considered “perfect” have husbands who choose to marry them. Why would this be? The answer is that the quality of being authentic is actually more potent in the arena of love than perfection. Being authentic causes a woman to act in such a manner that is enchanting.

This woman is well aware that she has issues (don’t we all) and yet, she understands the balance between improving herself and being comfortable with where she is currently in her life. She doesn’t work hard at convincing others (i.e. men) that she is perfect. Rather she is very attune to the needs of her heart, and takes full responsibility for meeting those needs. Men find such a woman adorable.

Here’s an exercise that will illustrate my point. The next time you are in a crowded area take a moment and casually look around at the men. Take at least 5 minutes and you will find that the men are all looking at the women. ALL OF THE WOMEN!
They will be looking at the tall ones, short ones, skinny ones, curvy ones and on and on and on…. Don’t take my word for it. Try it and see for yourself.

You will discover that as a woman, you have exactly what men are looking for. .

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