Do You Need a Reason to Love?

Today I want to share a very special story with you…it’s an excerpt for Marci Shimoff’s brilliant New York Times bestselling book LOVE FOR NO REASON—that’s newly out in paperback:

The woman sitting across from me was radiant. Mirabai Devi, an international spiritual teacher from South Africa, was known for the unconditional love that emanated from her, and I could see why. Her dark eyes sparkled, her smile was both serene and joyful, and I felt a warm glow in my heart as I gazed at her.

I pressed the Record button on my digital recorder, and Mirabai began to tell me about her first experience of unconditional love. It had taken place almost 20 years earlier, when, as a young woman, Mirabai experienced an awakening while traveling through Europe:

“It was as if a dam burst in my heart, and the waters overflowed. The love that came forth was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.

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Shhhh…..A Confession and a Secret Revealed

After Brian and I got married I discovered that “manifesting a soulmate” was the easy part.

The hard part was just beginning.

I was totally clueless about creating a great relationship. After 44 years of being single, I was used to having my own way (all of the time) and since I managed skip over having a “starter marriage” I had zero experience in “partnership.”

One day I found myself being particularly pushy.  I witnessed myself pointing my right index finger in Brian’s face (left hand on left hip) ragging him out about something…..and I was shocked!  OMG….what was I doing?

I quickly apologized and then in a flash of insight said to him, “the next time I get like this, and unfortunately there will be a next time, you have my permission to ask me “when did Sheila enter the room?” (Sheila is my brilliant, amazing, and some times overbearing Mom)

Brian instantly got it and said to me, “And the next time I am getting too patronizing, you can call me Wayne.” (his much beloved Dad.) This was the amazing beginning of our dedication to practicing Wabi Sabi Love in our relationship…a way to offset problems and allow in more love.

Now you may be thinking….what the heck is Wabi Sabi?

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Single and Blue at Christmas? Here’s What to Do….

Single for the holidays?

Feeling down about it?

Trying to talk yourself out of your feelings?

We live in a world that is forever preaching to us to be upbeat, optimistic and have positive thoughts.

I disagree.

Some times we have to allow ourselves to simply feel what we are feeling. To deny, ignore, or suppress our true feelings doesn’t make these feelings go away and can actually make us sick on some level.

Here’s what I do when I am experiencing negative emotions.

First, identify the feeling. Is it sadness? anger? resentment? disappointment? Then I give myself full permission, for 3 minutes, to completely dive into my thoughts and feelings and I do my best to stay totally focused on the emotion. (no happy thoughts allowed!)

Next, I take out my journal and write down in detail my experience, including a description of my expectations that aren’t currently being met. I then check to see if there are any other feelings bubbling up that are asking to be felt, and if so, I repeat the process.

Finally, I make a gratitude list of all the things, large and small, that I am grateful for. My list often begins with items such as:

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Broken Heart? This will make all the difference.

I’m writing about a very tender topic today…

Have you ever found yourself at the end of a relationship asking yourself, “How can I survive this?”

It can feel like you’re walking around with an open wound, right? Everything aches.
In fact it hurts just to be awake and sometimes there’s no end in sight.

And then you realize: it’s not just your relationship that broke… your heart broke too. You broke.

I’m sorry to bring this up. We’ve all been there and no one likes to talk about this side of love… but I want to help.  Because if you’re experiencing debilitating heartache right now, or you’re still dealing with the residue of past heartache…The pain you’re feeling doesn’t have to continue.

The good news here is that most breakup pain isn’t caused by ending your relationship. It’s created by the way you’ve been taught to end your relationships.

Unfortunately, most of us have been misled to “break apart” in devastating and destructive ways… and we make damaging and dangerous mistakes that end up creating more suffering, costing us our sanity and stealing our joy. They can even prevent future love!

That’s why so many of us spend 5… 10… 30 years trying to heal from past breakups.

And the crazy thing is, we think that we have to just suffer through it and just hope that eventually, someday, we’ll get over it and won’t hurt anymore. We’re left feeling powerless and hopeless to help ourselves in any really meaningful way.

Yet, now it’s time to learn a different way …

Discover the Art of Conscious Completion in This FREE Online Seminar

Rather than only focus on the pain and problem, this empowering online teleseminar will teach you the step by step process of how you can accelerate your healing by using the pain you are in to catalyze a whole new life.

Until we learn how to heal from these breakup mistakes and learn how to conscious complete our relationships in an entirely new way, we run the risk of remaining in pain and living lesser lives … making things worse for ourselves and our children or loved ones.

You are not alone. We all know what it’s like to hurt and suffer from a breakup. And I want to help you get out of any pain like that quickly!

And that’s why I’m writing this email today… to share with you an empowering training from licensed psychotherapist and national bestselling author of Calling in “The One,” Katherine Woodward Thomas.

This FREE Online Seminar will deliver you an entirely new way to approach the end of love.

Katherine will equip you with a powerful, proven step by step process to help you avoid the hellacious damage so often associated with breaking up… as well as show you how to heal any damage you may have suffered in the past.

Learn How to Avoid (or heal from!) the 3 Breakup Mistakes that Cause Suffering, Steal Joy & Prevent Future Love:

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Social Media Mania: Being in Love Online

Does social media help you or hurt you when it comes to your soulmate search?

Do you know what “social media” is?   Are you tempted to jump in to the internet but don’t know where to start?  You are not alone.

The dating and mating rules have all changed since Facebook, Twitter and now Google+ are Social Mediamore mainstream than ever. By mainstream I mean that more and more women are flocking to the internet, many actively using the tools there available for free, to meet and screen potential partners.

If you are you a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to social media, you are definitely missing an opportunity your single sisters are cashing in on.

Take a look at these stats experts at Lab42 found when they went out to take the pulse of today’s relationship hunters as well as established lovers. There survey asking 500 social media users over age 18 some rather personal questions about meeting people, cheating, communication and more revealed the telling numbers.

Of respondents not in a relationship, 26% contact someone they are interested in on Facebook.  42% still prefer in person meetings, however many women feel safer checking out the prospect from a distance.

After meeting someone one interesting, 57% friend them on Facebook, 29% research them on social networks (Twitter, Linked In, Google+) and 26% google them. Amazing what you can find out this way.

While a full 77% rejected online dating as lame, “It just seems wrong.  People always lie about who they are on line.”  A happy 64% report writing and receiving loving messages on their facebook pages. If you follow Brian and I on Facebook, you know how true this is.  We love using social media to chat with each other.

“How do you meet people you’d like to get to know better? How do you treat each other once you’re together?” asks Charlie White, mashable.com, ”Social media turns out to be a great accelerator for exposing you to potential mates, but does that change the basic way people interact with each other?”

You bet!  Don’t miss out on the fun.  Check out the entire survey for yourself right here:

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[Video Treat] The Power Of Kindness

I once heard someone say, “If you teach your children the Golden Rule, you will have left them an incalculable estate.”

Truer words were never spoken. More than anything, the Golden Rule is about kindness. They improve your relationship with yourself and with others. It’s not much in fashion these days to talk about the benefits of kindness, honesty and decency, but the benefits are there and they are valuable and worth the trouble.


Copyright © 2005 – 2011 Simple Truths, LLC
Watch Power of Kindness

If you like this video clip, I encourage you to Share it with the world and join me on my mission to empower and inspire millions of people around the globe.

At the end of this video you’ll see simple instructions on how you can help.

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Never Too Early For Wedding Vows

I believe in paying attention to “signs” and this week I’ve been hearing about wedding vows everywhere I go. Bride and Groom

We just returned from Dallas where we attended the wedding of our niece Sarah and her beloved, Mark.  It was a beautiful garden affair, at sunset, with a brass quartet and a very enthusiastic, loving and gracious minister.

The bride was stunning, the groom beaming, and one of the highlights of the ceremony for me was a recital of Sarah’s all-time favorite Dr. Seuss poem that expressed the depth and the whimsy of the happy couple:

I will love you in the park, and I will love you in the dark.
I will love you through good or bad,
When you’re happy and when your sad.
I will love you when you’re rich or when you’re poor and in a ditch
And I will have and I will hold,
Ten years from now a thousand fold.
And now we’re here at this new start,
So I’ll start by loving you with my whole heart.

FamilyFor those of you in serious love manifestation process, it’s always a good idea to begin creating some ideas of what your wedding day will include. What music do you want to dance to? What will the cake taste like?  Is it a daytime or nighttime affair?

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Are YOU an Alpha Bitch?

Years ago, on one particularly bad date, a man said to me,  “Arielle you are one tough woman. I’ll bet you scare the S#&*T out of most men.”

Wow….that really hurt. And, it had me take a good, long look at my behavior. I realized that what worked so well for me in business and my career was actually working against me when it came to love.

My friend, Christy Whitman and her co-author Rebecca Grado, have just written a new book, Taming Your Alpha Bitch: How to be Fierce and Feminine (and get everything you want), that really addresses this issue and I’ve asked them to share their thoughts with us today.

Christy and Rebecca say:

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When Law of Attraction Fails

Have you ever noticed that the Law of Attraction works for you in some areas of your life but not all? People often ask me “If the Law of Attraction actually works, why doesn’t it work for all of us all of the time?” My sister Debbie and I were talking about this recently and I just HAD to share her answer with you:

There’s only one answer to that question: It is what is in our unconscious mind that has the power — all the stuff that you wish wasn’t there, that you want to get rid of, that you’re still pissed off about or ashamed of, all the beliefs you’re still limited by.

Our unconscious is holding 80% of our power to magnetize our life experiences to us. So if our conscious mind has only 20% of the power, this is the time to get to work on uncovering, owning and embracing our unconscious by truly understanding and transforming what’s no longer wanted or needed.

One fruitful place to start this exploration is to look at what I call underlying commitments. These are commitments that exist at an unconscious level that, if not made conscious, will override any other desires we have.

Our underlying commitments drive our thoughts, our beliefs and — most importantly — our choices. They are the unseen forces that shape our realities. They are responsible for the discrepancy between what we say we want and what we’re actually experiencing.

These underlying commitments are formed by unconscious decisions we’ve made in the past. In the dark recesses of your unconscious, for example, you may have decided that you can’t trust anyone and that it’s easier to be alone. So even though you want love and intimacy in your life, you always choose the wrong mate because your first commitment is to being by yourself.

You become a magnet, but instead of attracting what you think you desire, you are a magnet for failure, for missed opportunities, for being less of a success than you strive for. You continually make choices that are in direct conflict with what you say you want and you find yourself baffled by the choices you are making. Sound familiar?

Underlying commitments keep us stuck in the same place year after year. When we carry the wounds, hurts or outdated beliefs that created these underlying commitments in the first place, we will unfortunately keep attracting the same circumstances over and over again so that we can be right about these early decisions lurking in our unconscious. Our underlying commitments become self-fulfilling prophecies. And our unconscious becomes the driver of our lives.

Transformational Action Step

We must expose our underlying commitments before we have the power to shift them. By exposing these unconscious commitments, we gain the freedom to stand in the truth. Then we can begin the process of transformation.

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Is It Too Late To Find Love?

Last week I met a beautiful 50-something woman named Wendy. She told me how much she enjoyed reading The Soulmate Secret and she was “hoping” she might get lucky and find love again, even though she still carried a torch for her ex-husband. She then said she was “realistic” about her slim chances of finding a soulmate now that she is in her fifties.

I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, shake her, and ask her WHY do you tell yourself lies like this? But, instead, I took a deep breath and told her what I know to be the truth:

“It is not too late for you to experience unimaginable, legendary love and manifest a soulmate who will appreciate and adore you. I know of many men and women who have found love in their later years. It’s okay to love your ex-husband. In fact, it’s probably impossible to stop loving the ones we’ve loved and cared for.

However, you need to finally accept that he is long gone, not coming back, and it’s time to let go. See if you can find a little corner of your heart to place your love for him in and when you catch yourself thinking about him, remember to put him back into that little place and focus on the heart traits and delicious qualities of your soon-to-be met soulmate.

Whatever destiny or karma you once had with your ex-husband is now complete so give yourself the gift of moving on to something that serves you and the greater good.”

It’s really important that we let go of the thoughts or beliefs that we can’t find love again. Do you believe that just because you are 50, 60 or even 90 that there is any less oxygen for you to breathe? Of course not. There are close to 7 billion people alive on the planet today. About half of them are single. You only need ONE. One person to love you like you’ve never been loved before. One person to share your life with…to be your best friend and lover.

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